


we live with scars this time

by PinguBear



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Bittersweet, Bittersweet Ending, Friends to Enemies, M/M, POV First Person, ana exposes the shittest thing she's ever written, friends to strangers, lovers to strangers, more ambiguous tm writing, thank you james bay, what even is not ambiguous at this point
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-02-04 01:32:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12760392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinguBear/pseuds/PinguBear
Summary: "believe me when i tell you you should go."





	we live with scars this time

'Leaving so soon?'

It's not his voice that gets to me first, but his scent that drifts away upwards from his body, carried by the wind and slapped onto my face like a bucket full of ice water.

The scent of cheap conditioner and minty cologne.

He's got this rundown Samsung S4 in his hands and he's playing one of those ridiculously demanding Candy Crush-esque matching games.

'Not my kind of crowd.' I say.

He looks like he wants to say something to that, but he just shakes his head and once more averts his eyes towards the screen of his phone.

There's this sort of twisted warmth brewing in the quiet evening air, the lack of breathable air you'd find in a tiny bathroom with no windows in sight, in which someone's already showered. The kind of hissing weather you get when you expect rain, but only get its shadow looming from above.

'Well, bye then.'

It was precisely what I had been meaning to say ever since I saw him sitting outside Baekhyun's house.

'Bye.'

I'm standing there, my right foot on the sidewalk and my left one on the dry asphalt of the highway.

There're no cars in sight, otherwise I would have done my best to keep both of my feet to myself.

He chuckles.

'I thought you were leaving?'

There's this confused yet delighted lilt in his tone.

The night surrounds us from all around. I thought I'd hear more of the party that's going on inside, but it's not the case.

My ears only pick up our breathing. The sounds of clashing stars happen above us, yet we cannot hear them because earth is tiny and insignificant.

I sit down next to him.

A feeling of undoubted comfort rushes through me when he turns ever so slightly towards me to indicate that he's there and he's not leaving and he's not letting me leave.

'Sorry I interrupted your game. I, too, thought I was leaving.'

'It's cool. No worries.'

I know he's watching me, but I don't believe I deserve to return his gaze. It's just gonna be awkward conversation topics and quiet hesitation frow now on.

'I didn't know…you went to parties.'

'I don't.'

The resolve in his voice surpasses in importance my previous inclination to sit there like a dull answering machine brought to life.

I turn to him.

I might even be looking surprised.

'Then-'

'Came to pick you up.'

I have nothing to choke on. There's this feeling of my insides crumpling like an unneeded sheet of paper. 

'We broke up, Jongin.'

'Not sure we ever were a thing to begin with.'

I want to stand and give him a piece of my mind for stomping his feet on our relationship by calling it a 'thing', but he's just…right.

'I'm gonna go now.'

'I'll walk you home.'

'No, you won't.'

'What if I want to?'

'I highly doubt that.'

'Okay. My bad. Seems you know me better then I do so why should I bother.'

There was a time this sentence couldn't have sounded sarcastic even if he had wanted it to.

Words are piercing the warmth within the air around us, things that we had and have said, things we want to say, things we'll never say.

It's so hard to breathe. And it's not even because of the weather.

'I'm just jealous.'

I remain quiet.

'I'm jealous of Baekhyun and Chanyeol and everyone in their posse that gets to have you to themselves. And for what, just because modern time genius Do Kyungsoo has finally noticed that he can't just avoid every single person around him for the rest of his life?'

He's turned his back to me, but that stare of his that I'm used to captures every fragment of my attention in the image that I have screenshotted and stored in my mind.

'And for what it's worth…I miss your friendship. I'm not so sure I miss your love.'

'And what a pleasure it's been. To hear you belittle my insecurities and make fun of my desire to become a better person.'

My line would have probably been more hurtful if my eyes hadn't already started crying.


End file.
